The Power of Listening and Real Connections
Have you ever been in a conversation where you had the distinct impression that the other person wasn’t paying attention? Maybe they were waiting their turn to say something, nodding but not processing your words in their grey matter. Perhaps you’ve caught yourself doing the same thing from time to time — only half-listening while mentally formulating your response. We’ve all done it occasionally. But for some, it seems to be their default setting.
We’re surrounded by people talking every day. People want to share their opinions, influence you, sell you stuff, and make sure they’re being heard. But real connections don’t come from simply talking — they come from understanding. And understanding starts with listening.
The Art of Truly Listening
When we truly listen, we are attentive and engaged, projecting a genuine desire to understand what the other person is saying. In this sense, we create an environment where people can express themselves without fear of judgement, which leads to deeper conversations and stronger relationships.
A good listener gives their full attention — they don’t check their phone while you’re talking or stay poised to jump in without listening to what you are saying. They use body language, like nodding and maintaining eye contact. They ask well-considered questions that show they’re paying attention and reflect back to ensure they understand what you are saying. By remaining open-minded and not interrupting, they don’t assume they already know what you are going to say.
Poor listening habits can shut down conversations really quickly. We’ve all dealt with people who constantly interrupt or talk over others. It isn’t enjoyable, to say the least. They don’t seek to understand but listen for the vaguest pause so they can start talking again. They are good at dismissing or minimising other people’s experiences and emotions, and they don’t pick up on nonverbal cues, like someone’s tone or body language.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling unheard, you know how frustrating it can be. And if we’re honest, we’ve probably all been guilty of making others feel that way, too.
Why Listening Matters More Than Ever
Ah, the good old days when we could sit around and talk. No social media or mobile phones, just good old-fashioned in-person conversation. We’ve had many years to adapt, but authentic listening has become a lost art with social media, short attention spans, and constant distractions. But all that stuff is here to stay, so adapt we must. Listening strengthens relationships, builds trust, and makes us better leaders, friends, and partners. When we take the time to listen, people feel seen and valued, and that can make a big difference in our personal and professional lives.
We want to be around people who are great listeners. They make people feel heard, and in a world where many voices are competing for “airtime,” great listeners don't seem all that common these days.
How to Become a Better Listener
If you’re ready to light up your listening skills, here are a few suggestions:
- Put away distractions. If you’re in a conversation, put down your phone, close your laptop, and give your full attention.
- Pause before responding. Instead of jumping in right away, take a moment to process what was said.
- Use active listening techniques. Repeat back key points or ask follow-up questions to show engagement.
- Be curious. Approach conversations with a genuine interest in what the other person has to say.
- Check your biases. Do not assume you already know what someone will say — listen with an open mind. You might be surprised.
Sure, it will not always be easy, particularly when we are busy or under stress. But a little more time spent truly listening in any given moment might do more than just build a deeper relationship — it might prevent a mistake, give us more information, teach us something, or really help someone in a time of need.
Decide To Be a Better Listener
The next time you’re in a conversation, maybe you could challenge yourself to really listen. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk — be present, be engaged, and see how it changes the dynamic. You might be surprised by how much deeper your conversations become and how much more connected you feel to those around you.
Listening might not always come naturally, but with a little effort, it may become a habit that transforms the way you communicate. And when you start truly listening, you might also find that people start listening more to you. As they say, practice makes perfect.